Do you ever have those nights where you don't even like who you are? You see the mood you are in..you hear the tone you are speaking in..you can observe the reactions (and even the hesitations) from your husband AND dog when you open your mouth to speak and when you are asked a question..but you cannot seem to snap out of it? Well friends, this was me tonight.
I did not like me tonight. Do you know what I mean? I hope so..but then again, we should always like who we are..right? Who knows. All I know is tonight I was in a mood and guess what--it is so NOT my time of the month. Nope, not even close--this was just Katie being Katie. I hate how it is so easy to blame the one other person you live with for your problems. In my case, its the hubs..poor guy. Let me explain my night to you..you will think to yourself, "Wow, that does not sound bad at all, I've had way worse." I will agree with your thoughts BUT when you are in a mood, you are in a mood..end of story.
It all started with dinner. Adam and I joined e-meals to save money and for the healthy options they offer. Awesome. We are on week 2, tonight called for Sausage and Chicken Gumbo. I don't know about you--but the word "Gumbo" alone made my stomach turn. Adam wanted to try it and we did buy the ingredients for it so I did it..I made the Gumbo. I cannot even list the ingredients to you because the thought of it causes me to smell it, and yes..you can remember smells, and yes..it can cause you to become sick. So, moving on. Dinner tonight did not turn out good, it was awful. The taste and smell got me and after one bite of trying it, I was finished. Adam picked around. For those of you who do not know my husband, believe me when I say this boy sure can eat!
At this point of the evening, I was depressed and hungry..not a good combination when you are female. I hate wasting things, like food and MONEY! We decided to salvage some of the meal by picking out the kielbasa and rinsing it to remove the flavors of the sauce or whatever Gumbo is..the hubs did this as I was gagging at the smell of it. He then drove to Kroger to pick up some Shells 'N Cheese since he knew my mother would make this with kielbasa when I was a kid. (P.S. There is a Redbox by our Kroger and guess who just got a Blu-Ray player.) Fast forward a bit. I made the Shells 'N Cheese and placed kielbasa in it. Tasted it..it was a familiar taste, made me think of home. So far so good. Then I got a piece of chicken (which snuck into the kielbasa bowl from the Gumbo) that blended in with the color of the cheese and it still tasted like the Gumbo!!! Spit it out and dinner was done for this girl.
I was now feeling like I was going to hurl. Yep, I felt it. I gave my husband the silent treatment because he made a remark that I took the wrong way. Again, poor husband..like I said earlier, it's too easy to blame the person you live with for your problems. We watched our movie and I did not want to admit it to him (because I was in a mood) but it looked awesome, just awesome on the Blu-ray! Finished watching "Takers" and split up to our laptops. Both sitting on couch not talking and on our laptops, what great quality time eh? Checked my blog and noticed Kelle from Enjoying the Small Things had a new post up. I immediately clicked. Before I could even read the first words of her post I hear Sheryl Crow sing, "God, I feel like hell tonight." Adam and I make eye contact and just lose it..we begin cracking up with laughter. Adam thought I had played this on my own and when I told him what happened he laughed even harder. The song continues to say, "Are you strong enough to be my man?" I did not let him give a smart remark (even though I knew it was on the tip of his tongue)..instead I spoke and apologized to him for my behavior. It all ended with laughter, kisses, and big glasses of orange juice.
And now I am here, sitting in my mismatched pj's typing about what all happened tonight. Thank you for reading and allowing me to get it all out. Life is so funny sometimes and the craziest things make us stop and remember to enjoy the small things as Kelle says. Tomorrow morning I have an appointment I do not want to go to, in fact, I've put it off for close to 10 years! You may laugh..it's the chiropractor. I have issues people. I do not want to go tomorrow but I know my body needs me to go. So I am. Prayers would be greatly appreciated ;)
Goodnight..and wow, do I feel better after writing this..I am liking myself again. We shall see what tomorrow morning brings..
haha Yeah, I had one of those last night. I'm sure my husband was thinking, "WHO or WHAT did I marry?" I spilled cough syrup all over the bathroom floor. But I felt like crap and all I wanted to do was go to bed and I heard the f bomb coming out of my mouth and then I said, "I don't care!" and stomped off to bed. My husband cleaned up the cough syrup and I felt like a horrible person. When did I revert back to being a 3 year old?
ReplyDeleteI LOVED this post, sweet Katie!
ReplyDeleteFor so many reasons, but particularly b/c you are only a few hours out and already able to talk about it and laugh at your self and together with your hubs...those kind of nights can often lead to many days or weeks of silence and hurt in a marriage, and you guys worked through things in hours...good work! :)
I've been there too! Unfortunately I'm not usually so quick to apologize, good for you. And I love going to the chiropractor. It's so nice once you get over the hump of actually getting there! I hope it goes well for you.
ReplyDeleteI SO appreciate you voicing how I feel every now and then. Those nights are the absolute worst because you WANT to feel better...but you can't even figure out what would help. Glad to know it all ended in laughs. Big prayers for the Chiro going well. I swear by mine...I'm sure it'll help!
ReplyDeletePS: just found your blog a little while ago and I'm hooked. Have a great day!
Heh.... my dear sister, we both had very similar evenings last night! The only difference is that it took me just a little bit longer to get over mine ;) Let me know how it goes at the chiropractor!
ReplyDeleteawww, I'm sorry you had a bad night...we are often so hard on ourselves and because of our own self dissapointment we take it out on the ones that love us even when we cook bad Gumbo...I'm happy to hear that you laughed it out and made up with yourself ! wishing you a great rest of the week....xo
ReplyDeleteLucy
Katie,
ReplyDeleteYou will have days like that, not sure why, but it happens and it is good that you can talk and laugh. It will make a good story about meals you will never make or eat again. Try to relax at the chiropractor, tell him/her about your migraines, back pain, problems with tingling and numbness. I really think it will help. Tomorrow will be a better day. Love you, MOM