11.22.2013

.This is 27.

I turned 27 this week.

Yes, 27. 

My life is not perfect. There is pain, frustration, and even sadness. The good news? My life is so much more. It is a gift from our Heavenly Father. It is filled with people I love and who love me. There is laughter, joy, and silliness. There are mistakes waiting to be made. There is forgiveness. My life feels like a mess at times and you know what? 

It is. 

On my birthday this year I captured real, raw photos of what 27 looks like. No staging or editing, just real life. 

My 27 looks like this..
Dirty dishes waiting to be washed.
Plants quietly waiting to be watered.
Shoes scattered on the floor waiting to be put away.
Used baby rags and blankets waiting to be washed and fluffed.
The vacuum eagerly waiting to suck.
Laundry baskets filled with miscellaneous items waiting to be sorted.
The nursery is waiting, just waiting, for love and attention.
Dirty clothes piles waiting to smell good again.
Unfinished house projects waiting to be remembered.
Beds waiting to be made.
Wet shoulders waiting to dry.
Real clothes and bra waiting to be worn.
And me?

Well I am not waiting for anything. 

I am choosing to soak in these days rather than waiting for them to pass. I am choosing to see the mess and to embrace it. To live it up in my high school hoodie and husband's pajama pants.

My life at 27 is beautiful. 

I see dirty dishes and feel grateful for a husband who works 2 jobs to provide for our family.
I see withered plants in need of water and remember I, too, need nourishment. Nourishment from God's word.
I see scattered shoes and smile. I think of when Penny's shoes will join the pile and where they will lead her. I am reminded to pray for her. I pray she walks with the Lord like her daddy and I do.
I see dirty receiving blankets and stop to smell them. To smell my baby girl, spit up and all, and fall more in love with her.
I see the vacuum and see our dog Colden. I think about his little life and how it has changed and remember to show him extra attention by pampering him with a good brushing.
I see laundry baskets filled with random things and see my husband in his adorable decluttering methods.
I see Penny's nursery and am flooded with chills. I think about all the memories we will share together through that very door. All the bedtime stories, snuggles, sick nights, and prayers. 
I see piles of dirty laundry and am thankful. Thankful for the clothes themselves and for wash machines.
I see our unmade bed and feel the warmth and comfort it brings. It reminds me to seek after our Heavenly Father for comfort and not to rely only on earthly things.
I see and feel my wet shoulder from Penny and chuckle. My greatest dream has come true; I am a mother. A mother to a 4.5 month baby girl who is full of life, laughter, and slobber. I thank God everyday for the miracle of her life.
I see my real bra neglected on the floor and think of the day I stop nursing. I feel fortunate for the gift of breastfeeding and am truly saddened to think of it ending. I am still in awe of God's creation that He designed my body and Penny's body to work together. For me to give her everything she needs to grow strong and healthy. It is amazing.

And then..

I see myself.
There are imperfections but the truth is I see beauty. I feel more beautiful now than ever before.

I am a wife and a mother.

This is my 27.