2.17.2012

.Poop Strikes Again.

Trust me friends, I am as disappointed and disturbed
 by the title as you are. 

I cannot believe I am writing about, you know..number two, again on my blog. Here is my first rant about dare I say it--P O O P--and prepare yourselves for another wonderful post featuring our "star" of the week.

For those of you new to the blog, I am a nanny. I have been with the same family now for almost three years and watch their three girls ages 5, 3, and 7 months old. We have seen, smelt, and unfortunately felt a lot of poop together over the years. It is not something I am proud of..

I am 25 years old, not a mother, and have spent hours upon hours anticipating that sweet sound of tinkle tinkle and ploop-splash as it lands in the potty. Did you miss the part of me not being a mother yet? Potty training was an interesting and unforgettable experience and not something I'd like to do again. Sad news for me, one day I know I'll have a little one myself and have to do it all over again. I only pray it's "better" when it's your own child--if that is at all possible.

Good news since last time, Joy (age 3) is now a pro at using the potty so this post is not one about accidents..it's about poop..being..ugh.."stuck."

I do not mean constipated but actually stuck..half in, half out..okay, okay I'll stop we all sadly get the picture.

It first started with our dog Colden. He was taken to the vet yesterday morning and spent the day there because we had his teeth cleaned. Apparently all dogs go under when having their teeth cleaned, which is just another way for owners to spend more money, ah well. Good news, his teeth are sparkling and his nails got trimmed too! Score!

Why am I mentioning our dog in a post about poop being stuck?--Because he went under for his dental cleaning, his body began reacting. This meant poop and lots of it! Thankfully nothing came out in the house, phew..been there done that. I took Colden out in the backyard and he did his business, same as usual. As we were walking back towards the house he began freaking out--running in circles, whining, and smelling the ground everywhere. I stopped and just watched, it was entertaining at the time..He squatted again and this time his poop was liquid and squirting all over the ground..all over his fur..and all over his back legs.

From a distance I cringed.

All of a sudden, Colden yelped and began wiping his butt on the grass..the very same grass he just did his business on. I went over to him to see what was wrong and saw a string of poop stuck. It just would not "let go" and drop to the ground. I picked up a stick and scrapped it off. Again, not one of my most proud moments. We walked onto our deck and I tied him there as I ran inside to get a wet cloth to clean his fur. The smell was enough to kill ya--truly I think I found a new way of torture. Colden was cleaned and placed in his crate to dry.

I washed my hands three times and still swore I smelled his poop. The girls were thankfully in naptime when this happened so I jumped right in the shower!

Success. I was clean, smelled like vanilla, and standing in my towel when I heard, "Katie! Katie! My poop is stuck!!!!"

This was coming from Grace, age 5, as she was frantically trying to "unstick" her poop. I opened the bathroom door to find more lovely poop odor and fingers covered in poop. Why? Why? I used wipes and scrubbed that child's bottom. She was right--her poop was stuck! It was not solid or liquid..it was in the middle, I think that's the worst of all! I got her all cleaned up and put back into her room for another 30 minutes of quiet time while I showered AGAIN!

Katie + Someone else's poop = Shower Shower Shower!

I am clean once again as I type this post. Adam and I have the girls all weekend because their parents and the baby are away. Here's to hoping the rest of the weekend goes "smoothly"..in every sense of that word!

Oh poop how I loathe you.

Happy Friday!

9 comments:

  1. LOL that is horrible! So I have two babies myself and have also had experiences like this. I will tell you that it definately isn't as bad when it's your own kid. When it's others it's just gross.

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  2. This did make me laugh out loud. Isn't it amazing how things we would never have talked about before suddenly become hysterical after kids or dogs have come into our lives. One of my dogs love to eat long weeds and they end up being the half in half out position as well. You just haven't lived until you have to pull a poopy weed out of your dogs but. High gag factor.
    Thanks for the laugh,
    Traci

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  3. HAHAHAHA. This is hlerious. I hate potty training - it is no fun!!! I think its amazing how the parents leave the girls with you for weekend. I would love to find someone {other than family} to watch my daughter.

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  4. I swear I could smell it through the computer screen. ah!

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  5. My 3 year old had diarrhea in the bathtub yesterday. I feel your pain :)

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  6. Hahaha girl this is hilarious. I mean, probably not at the time... thanks for being real on here! Sometime we do have to go through these things! I'm your newest follower. :) xoxo. - Margaret

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  7. TOO FUNNY! I am also a nanny, with no kids of my own yet, and I can totally relate! I watch three, 2 boys (7 and 6, both in school during the day), and a 4-year-old girl. Just today, the girl pooped and yelled "Jenna, I'm done!", at which point I said, "Poop or pee?" because she poops just as fast as she pees, and she can wipe pee on her own. She said she pooped and I walked in there and handed her a wad of toilet paper. She looked up at me and said "But I don't wanna wipe my poop." to which I quickly replied that helloooo neither did I, but you gotta do what you gotta do. It doesn't help the situation that her parents still wipe her every single time she pees, when the girl is perfectly capable of doing it herself. Ah the perils of watching other peoples' kids.
    2027

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