I have been in pain.
This past Saturday Adam and I attended a memorial service for our friends
sweet baby girl. It was heart breaking viewing the slideshow, listening to the lyrics playing, and seeing our friends mourn. We are all comforted deep down inside knowing little Elli is with Jesus but our earthly bodies ache and miss her. Our friends spoke at the service and shared Elliana's story with us. It became evident to all Elli's life was short but had great purpose, she led people to Christ as her father spoke. It was a beautiful thing to witness.
My body has been the source of an excess amount of pain for the past 10 days or so. Remember when I shared this personal post about
migraines and cysts? Well, more cysts decided to form inside of my body. This time 3 at once and all on the same side. I had a large cyst burst Monday morning and it woke me from sleep. I was not scared because the pain was familiar and with that, I found comfort. I praised God for allowing the cyst to burst on it's own and for answering my prayer. Earlier that week, I felt the cyst in me as I walked, sat, laughed, sneezed, etc and I prayed the Lord would heal me and have my body function on it's own, the way He created it, to bring relief. As severe pain entered my stomach, lower back, and down my left leg I was at peace and knew I was being healed. I woke Adam who, in a very sleepy state, simply turned over, held me, and fell back to sleep. I felt my Heavenly Father through Adam's touch and with a smile on my face I fell back to sleep. The rest of the week has been painful but since the cyst burst, it has been much improved. I have continued to watch the girls every day and will not lie, Netflix, our big couch, and warm blankets have been my saving graces.
I decided to follow through with a doctor's appointment to make sure everything looked alright and as normal as it possibly could since I was still experiencing pain. I found out this morning I still have 2 remaining cysts in me, one inside my left ovary and another floating around on the left side. The ultrasound showed a tremendous amount of fluid which took the technician by surprise and she asked how I had been walking around and working. She estimated the cyst that burst Monday morning was around a 5cm cyst which actually isn't the largest I have had. In the past, I have had a cyst 7.3cm in size which brought me to my knees when it burst. My doctor recommended birth control pills as a solution but once again I turned them down because they did not work in the past to prevent the cysts and left me a total emotional train wreck. I left with, "Take an advil for the pain and come back or go to the ER if the pain worsens." I was not discouraged this time around because I was not expecting any meds or a cure, I have accepted my body is one to produce numerous cysts. My biggest concern is a cyst growing too large while inside my ovary and causing it to twist which would require medical and surgical attention. Thank the Lord, this has never happened.
My back has been another source of pain and something I was not expecting this week on top of everything else. I have been going to a chiropractor for almost a year now after having a pinched nerve last January. I felt the same area on my back ache and felt the numbness in my pinky and ring finger on my left hand. These were all signs of another pinched nerve. I saw the chiropractor twice this week and am now feeling my back heal. It is still very sensitive but I am relieved to be feeling an improvement.
I take it day by day and have learned to deal with pain. It is not fun and it hurts me and even my husband some days but I continue to pray and ask for God's provision and His mighty comfort. He has shown Himself to me this week through answered prayer. As I was sorting through my wording in my head to explain, a camper of mine posted this as their facebook status this morning,
The Lord says, "I was ready to respond, but no one asked for help. I was ready to be found, but no one was looking for me. I said, "Here I am, here I am!" -Isaiah 65:1
The Lord is waiting for us to ask. Be bold in your prayer life. Ask for help, ask for healing. I cannot help but think and picture a smile appears on our Lord's face when we cry out to Him as He shakes His head and says,
"What took you so long child?" I have been encouraged this week because of my pain and have felt close and connected with my Heavenly Father. We must remember to rejoice in times of sufferings. Romans chapter 5 says,
"Also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."
Please find joy in the little things in life and lift your friends and family this Christmas in your prayers. Pain is not just physical, think of those who are dealing with emotional pain. Pour God's love on them and be encouraged knowing you are loved.
Happy Living--Happy Healing
and remember
--Little Things Bring Smiles--
